Buff Family Weekend 2008

We Are Deeply Thankful for our Family Weekend...

That particular location used to be in our home; within  our neighborhood, our community, our soccer fields, our family and our friends.... Now, our togetherness "lives" that reality in a new place: (GO, BUFFS!)

What a great time to be together, although it does not replace the nightly dinner together at the table, with the candles and music at play... We miss those discussions about politics & history & the gold standard & Socrates & the Sharks, the Earthquakes & the 49'ers. Now, we enjoy discussions about other things: Dad loves talking about math &  other girlie-girl topics, as you can imagine!

We hope you continue having a great time, actually studying a bit, making friends from all over the land, and running your 8 miles a day... Please eat more protein and we'll see you soon.. xoxo

A Moment of Reflection and Gratitude

I received two wonderful gifts this last week: 

Gift #1: One marathon telephone call from Mr. College Freshman, responding to our simple text message: "Did you get the tickets?" (That took me a pathetic 16 minutes to type a text!) He was out running his 7-8 miles per day (News to us: Is he still in training?) and he wanted to chat... A few minutes with me, 15 minutes with his dad, and then the phone came back to me and we talked for 2 hours... I think I said 26 words... He talked about many things, most of which are "classified." At the very end of this call, Mr. Cool said "I want you to know that I couldn't really call and talk to you guys until I knew I was settled in here... not because I forgot about you... I love you guys..." Pinch me.

Gift #2: One email from a consistently-in-contact childhood friend... We met when I was 12 and living in upstate New York. We were part of group of pranksters who staged huge snowball fights, rode toboggans (standing up!) and played relentless games of Monopoly on snow days... We thought we were hilarious when we (while cleaning the church) answered the church's phone by saying "XYZ Church, God speaking." These guys taught me how to jump off the traditional "cliff" into Nyack Lake, how to flip baseball cards and how to "throw (news)papers."

My friend's family was like a "second family" to me. He and I have always chatted about twice a year. His parents visit my family whenever they are in town, and he stays with us for a few days, every couple of years. He wrote to say that  he was reflecting on his life, back to "all of the great moments we all had shared" when he was visiting out here. 

When I started to read this, I froze, wondering if he was ill. (He was not.) He recalled many of our wonderful schemes and adventures over these many years... and I smiled and reflected, too... Then, he just thanked me for my friendship, that we were always welcoming to him and our inviting him on all of these various outings over these last 30 years... I read these amazingly kind words and cried. Pinch me twice.

A Time for Letting Go...

So... some of us are off to college! Some of us hung out at "Bed Bath and Beyond and Best Buy (did you know they merged?)" Some of us zipped through the high desert of Wyoming while others rattled  around in "Old Paint!" There were a lot of high points in our adventure: too many to count... But, there was a great moment where the driver next to us cruised right through an EXTREMELY red light... and there were two motorcycle cops at the intersection, watching her scuttle right through. It was awesome!! Haven't you ever watched that happen and thought "Where is a cop when you need them?" Me, too! So, it was so rewarding watching them turn on their lights and chase after her! I don't wish misery on anyone, but this was just too much to take. I thought they could have driven faster ("Blue Buick Eludes Cops in High Speed Chase through College Town!") but, it was still a great moment! Great people, fine ribs, beautiful campus, perfect weather, nice dorm, used textbooks, fun with a son... and time to say goodbye and we'll see you at Family Weekend. Of course, we love our new black and gold flip flops!

I Miss My Brudder!!

Hi Mattie...

It's your Hilly...

xoxo

Congratulations to Wildcat Matt!

Such an exciting time! Here is the smile of an adventurer!! His baby sister is back in D.C. for 2 weeks at a national leadership conference... meeting other teens from all over the US and Europe, working very hard, having a blast and thriving... ("Mom, the Solicitor General spoke about...")

She and her brother have already started to "VideoChat" while she's  been away... ("Mom! We're encrypted!")At home, we are getting down to the wire, preparing to take our "Baby Boy" to college... The other morning, I suggested that we go buy new sheets for his dorm room. He looked surprised and asked "Don't they have sheets, there?" 

I tried hard not to laugh (with mediocre success) and said no. He asked "Well, do they have beds?" I said yes; they are extra long, though... "Well, then I want to take my pillows, definitely..." said the 6'1.5" Freshman... and still growing... You may have your pillows... Absolutely... And anything else you need... Anytime... Signed (with love), xoxooo

Your Parents 

(who are thrilled for you and wistful and missing you, already, silently!)

One is "Off to College" While Another is "Off to DC"

Frequently, very loving and attentive parents will ask me "This is our situation. What should we do?" I say "Congratulate yourselves that you are asking, at all! Now, I have some bad news: How in the heck should I know... We are all in this, together!" 

Routinely, I am quite candid about how scary "raising children" has been, even so far, for us... As a 12 year old, when I lived in upstate New York, my friends and I used to toboggan downhill, standing UP, at NIGHT! (I have witnesses who are willing to testify that I always went first!) 

But, that was NOTHING, compared to the terror and daunting nature of raising children, both toddlers and teens, in particular. I was working on a photo album today, for my college bound child... (He won't care, but if I don't do it, he will later say..."You didn't do that for ME!")... and he saw a picture of his father and I on the day we married...  He said (tactfully?) "Wow- look at that happy couple, with dark hair and big smiles... before children started beating you down..." His father and I looked at each other and cracked up! His dad said "We are not beaten. You flatter yourself." 

Another child (new driver's license/new used car/great sunglasses/braces-oops!) is preparing to go off to the East Coast for a leadership event in "Trial and Advocacy." We told her she may just seek to learn a few tips beyond the relentless use of "kissing up" and "wearing down." She is very loving, strong willed as he**, extremely thoughtful and detailed about showing it, while also caught up in her zest for adventure... We don't blame her... we give the permissions, hug her close and pray...

Both of these teenagers have told me, privately, ("You know, Mom...") this last week, the EXACT number of days (accurately, because I already counted, but I didn't tell them!) which they have together until they go their separate ways... and how many days they will be together before the "Off to College Odyssey" begins... That will be one day, later this month. Sometime along, I will tell them about their shared anticipatory loss of each other. We are so very 

fortunate... We  are the grateful embracers of the "Crazy Times."

Baby's Changes I Almost Forgot to Mention...

I almost forgot to mention that the little boy who was so worried in the last photo (post before last) smiled in this next one, which was taken a few seconds later, after he heard me say "Hey there, Zama Zama!"

Going off to college, with only a few weeks left. I put a bunch of freshly laundered bath towels in a bag for one of your "Off to College" boxes. I folded them, like I always do, placed them gently into the clean storage bag, and cried... I guess I'll have to break down the boxes in the side yard ;-) and do something interesting with all of the soccer balls and various pieces of this and that... Even though you are 6'1" and 170 lbs, I still see this little guy... Thankfully, you never read this, much less know about this blog, so I can say to others that we really can miss them, terribly, all along the way... even when they are driving us OOOM's!!

In Honor of the British Open's Final Round Today!

Wellllllll... Now that we had a chance to play a wee bit of golf... guess who smacked a golf ball into a tree, which ricocheted off multiple branches within ONE tree and landed here... Of course, we left a note with our name and number and then stopped by, later, so we could  actually meet the owners of the windshield... They could not have been more gracious.... Have you ever met anyone who actually did this? Neither had we! Now, THAT makes for an expensive afternoon... I love playing golf with my husband and making new friends with others, including a few trees ;-))

Apple iPhone 3G Launch Reminds Me...

Well, some teens say "I think adults don't like us," or "Why don't the checkers help us?" "Are we INVISIBLE?!!"

After experiencing numerous encounters (for positive reasons) with Apple Stores, both of my teens and many teens connected with peers, girlfriends, clients, neighbors, other pals...  have united in a cry: "We are visible here!"

Starting out as an unhappy infant... ("I don't like this angle!")...

Becoming a happy teen customer... (check out the next blog!)...

Ya just gotta wonder!

What A Flying Hard Head!

 

So, the saying goes, "It's your 18th Birthday... You're a Legal Adult..." 

What a bunch of noise is that! Actually, it is more like: 

"You're 18. Congratulations. You have just been plunged into a legal abyss: you are not financially able to take care of yourself, your judgment is controlled by good logic, interrupted by whim, and you have all of the duties and obligations of an adult..."

Wow..." Ever heard of a "Legal Fiction?" Here is one: based on political decisions made during the Vietnam War... 

Moral of the Story? Stay in School, Slow and Steady Wins the Race, Launch Deliberately and Avoid having to make apologies later... ;-)) I wish I was as smart today as when I turned 18, because, when I was 18, I knew everything.... no, really.... I did.... oh, yes, I did...... ;-)

So.... The Name.... of the Game... Is....

WOW...!!!!!

Considering the humiliating fact that I am a very marginal-special-needs-blue-parking-tag type of athlete, I am shocked (and awed!) by how much I have enjoyed taking photos at soccer games over the last 14 years. No, I only took photos for the last 4 and videos for the last 2... But, it has FELT like 14, several times...

But, it boils down to this: this is SOMEONE ELSE'S sport (not mine) and these are HIS goals (not mine) and if HE wants to continue to play (or not)... my own soccer photo days and editing weekends are quietly fading into the sunset... 

I took this picture last year, at the end of a brutal tournament, where a certain team prevailed... that was one of their shining moments, just like my letting go of this shall be an opportunity for one of mine... :-))

The Juggling, Sailing and Sharing of Feelings!

What a wonderful trip! Where else can we sail along, listening to the wind and the waves... and the soccer ball... and the incessant talking of an adolescent, who wants to share his feelings about his life as a teenager... He has a lot of words and emotions to share.

My biggest question is... How does he do that juggling?

Sent from my iPhone "Just Because I Have Learned How!"
Valerie Houghton:-)

Isn't This the Sweetest Face, Ever?

So... when did this all change? From this little sweet face with the flat little voice to the angular closely shaven face with the "I'm taller than you" deep voice... the soccer ball is still the same... and so is the sweetness. He's a smarty pants prankster, random fact quizzer, math whizzer, perpetual arguer and negotiator. He threatens to go to law school...

He'll be turning 18 soon, leaving for college in the fall, all fired up with his OPINIONS about biofuel, history and politics, while eagerly anticipating his "first opportunity to vote" in November! He is planning on registering as a Republican, just like his dad!

Thank you to our own wonderful long term family therapist (You know who you are!) for helping us get through several periods of parent/child rocky waters, when our little darling could not hear us (the PARENTS, sigh!) and/or when his little sister was driving him nuts... So far, so good...

We will miss you, sweetie... We  love you very much, whether you're off with your friends, away at school or draped all over the house. We'll keep the light on!

We Love Our Teenagers... No Kidding!

So...

Several years ago, we had a visit from a high school friend of mine, whereupon our son asked "Was my mother a hippy?"

My old friend has always had a wicked sense of humor, gave me an evil grin... and said "Oh, Yes..."

What a crock...
I was a preppy before we HAD preppies...

Thanks to my old, dear pal, my son LOVES to periodically remind me, "Mom, you were a hippy!" "And Dad went to UC, Riverside!" WONDERFUL... What can I say?

Our oldest is almost 18, his little sister is almost 16... both taller than me and our son is almost taller than his dad, (at 6'2.")

We (the "parents") just celebrated our thirtieth (30th!) anniversary... and I cannot even begin to describe our celebration/ cards to each other... much less our handmade card, with photos, with handwritten notes, from these two sophisticated Catholic High School students- one a jock + geek, the other a creator + PSAT geek... and they are so close and have such fun together, it is worth everything, every day...

So, if you ever wonder what is going on the last 18 months of your child's high school? I am here to tell you only about our experience ... and we would not have missed a moment of it...

Thank you to our own family's therapist, who met our children when they were small and was, over the last few years, upon numerous occasions,  able to help them through periods when we were "not listening," and help them to refocus on their family's values, our daily shared time, and reassure them about our beliefs and absolute steadfast belief in them...

We knew she would not try to be their "pal," nor throw us under the bus... and we were more than happy to write the check to the person to whom they would be able to listen... when they could not hear us... They can hear us, most of the time...

I wish I was as smart, today, as I was when I was 18... because , at that age, I knew... :-))

We are so grateful to our family therapist and all of our blessings...

Mattie, we will miss you and playing "History Channel Olympics" and/or "Trivial Facts Olympics" and/or "How to Subvert Saying Grace."

Our love, with Emotions... Feelings ... and arm waving Passions!!!

Your Parents